Sunday, September 13, 2009

Dah siap nak raya?

Ju,

Raya tahun ini kami bersiap ala kadar saja
Pak Ustaz yang paling awal beli baju melayu (jenama John Master dengan potongan 50% di Jusco), jadi kami yang lain beli baju warna sedondon warna baju melayu itu, warna biru muda.
Betul, memang warna baju pengantin kami 5 tahun dulu pun biru muda, tapi kali ni warnanya lain sikit.
Untuk Huzaifah dan Humaidi telah kami belikan baju Raihan, jadi tak perlu nak bersamping.
Untuk Haniyya, tak dibelikan baju melayu pun, cukuplah berbaju warna sedondon.
Pengalaman yang lepas-lepas, kalau dipakaikan anak-anak kami ini baju melayu tradisional berwarna gelap pun bukannya lama dapat bertahan sebelum dicomotkan, inikan pula baju yang berwarna cerah.
Kita tunggu dan lihat saja nanti...

Meriah ke tidak pasar Ramadhan tahun ini, walaupun ada wabak H1N1?
Sejujurnya, kami cuma ke pasar Ramadhan sekali dua saja.
Selalunya cuma makan apa yang ada di rumah, dan sekali dua berbuka di luar untuk memenuhi undangan.
Yang istimewa tahun ini, pengalaman bertukar-tukar juadah berbuka dengan jiran-jiran. Sejak berkahwin, inilah tahun pertama ada pengalaman bertukar-tukar juadah dengan jiran-jiran.
Maklumlah, sejak berkahwin, inilah kali pertama menyambut Ramadhan dan insya Allah, Syawal di Malaysia dan masa di Asakusa pula, bukannya berjiran dengan orang Islam. (Takkanlah nak bertukar juadah berbuka dengan jiranku Makcik Jepun yang tak suka gaijin, lebih-lebih lagi gaijin beragama Islam)
Entah kenapa, walaupun terasa rindu ingin ke pasar Ramadhan bila di negara orang,
bila di tempat sendiri tidak pula teringin sangat nak ke pasar Ramadhan.
Mungkin ada benarnya kadang-kadang kita lebih menghargai apa yang tidak ada di depan mata.
Cuma, bagi kami, sebab utama tidak ke pasar Ramadhan agar lebih mudah untuk kami menundukkan nafsu makan/minum dan mengelakkan berbelanja berlebihan sehingga membazir.

Meriah ke tidak kompleks-kompleks perniagaan?
Oh, memanglah meriah sebab tahun ini kempen Jualan Mega yang selalunya berakhir pada 31 Ogos, berpanjangan sehingga 21 September.
Dan kalau pasukan pemantau pematuhan waktu bekerja untuk penjawat awam ingin buat serbuan, rasanya hari ini boleh cuba-cuba terjah ke tapak ekspo "Jom Beli Barang Raya" di Presint 2. Rasa-rasa, macam ramai yang mungkin 'kantoi'...
Memang betul-betul macam-macam ada... kuih raya, pakaian kanak-kanak (jenama Hamster, Poney dan World of Cartoons dijual dari harga serendah RM5 sehelai), pakaian dewasa, pelbagai jenis kasut, beg tangan dan dompet (jenama Polo dijual dengan potongan 80%), perabot, permaidani dan aneka makanan yang biasa dihidang di hari raya (kek, ketupat segera, lemang segera, ketupat palas segera, kerepek etc)

Persiapan lain?
Kami kan baru saja masuk rumah di Putrajaya bulan Februari lepas.
Perabot masih baru.
Langsir masih baru.
Oh, cuma TV bertukar baru (dan saiz pun dinaikkan ke 29 inci) kerana TV 'lama' (yang cuma bertahan 6 bulan lebih) bersaiz 21 inci itu telah ditolak jatuh ke lantai oleh Humaidi menyebabkan ada "jalur pelangi" muncul sepanjang masa di skrin dan boleh membuatkan penonton sakit mata menonton TV itu.
Harap-harapnya dengan TV besar yang lebih berat ini, Humaidi takkan memanjat naik TV dan menolak jatuh ke lantai lagi...

Di mana nak beraya?
Semalam, waktu menziarahi kami di Putrajaya, Ayah dan Mak sudah berpesan,
"Nanti malam raya mesti berkumpul di Kampung Tunku"
Maksudnya, insya Allah kami adik beradik akan cuba berbuka di Ramadhan terakhir tahun ini dan bertakbir Raya di Kampung Tunku.
Cuma, disebabkan Pak Ustaz telah dijemput menjadi Imam untuk Solat Sunat Aidilfitri di Masjid Rasah, malam itu jugalah kami akan berangkat pulang ke Seremban.
Jadi, mungkin hari Raya ke-2 atau ke-3 barulah pulang semula beraya dengan keluarga di Petaling Jaya.
Ada cadangan untuk adik-beradik Ayah bercuti beramai-ramai ke Pulau Pinang pada hari Raya ke-3.
Mak pun sudah menyatakan kesediaan untuk turut serta, jadi tengoklah nanti macam mana.

Di Switzerland sana bagaimana pula persiapan raya?
Jadikah rencana mahu beraya di Geneva?

Friday, September 11, 2009

Khatam Quran

The office's Puspanita held a Majlis Khatam Quran today. The third Majlis Khatam Quran after a 'divide & conquer' style of tadarus was conducted in all the different departments. Our department was asked to finish Juz 28-30, and we did it in a few days because the verses were further divided among the many readers as we were placed in groups of 3.

Personally, I prefer a more traditional version of tadarus. You know, a medium group of 5-7 people, each person taking turn to read while others listen and correct our reading and someoen will read the translation of the Quranic verses we just read. Sometimes there'll be a small discussion on what we've just read whether on hukum or on asbabun nuzul. But well, I have no problem with any different kind of tadarus groups. In fact I'm thrilled that I get to join one after three years of reading the Quran on my own in Ramadhan (with hubby checking on my reading every now and then...)

Yesterday we had a meeting among the department's tadarus group members and were told that some of us will be needed to help with the Puspanita's Majlis Khatam Quran, and we also need to send 2 representatives as reciter in the Majlis. The No 1 choice was unanimous - one clerk named Aju is a really good qari'ah. But I was quite surprised when my name was announced as the other reciter.

"Eh, tak ada orang lain ke?"

Apparently the meeting decided to pick one representative among the support staff and another among the officers.

I tried to nominate another more senior officer, Puan K, but she declined saying that she had to pick her son from school at 12.00 (the time of the Majlis), so I agreed.

For some reasons I find it quite funny. Long long time ago, back in my high school, my name would never be on anybody's list as the 'qariah'. Nobody would have thought that I would grow up to marry a hafiz too. Now, as an adult (and someone who is married to a hafiz) I try to improve my Quran reading by making it a habit. I usually read two pages in the morning, before I start working, in the office. Hubby once commented about seeing me picking up the Quran only during Ramadhan, but he was then not yet aware about this ritual I have every morning.

I didn't know that others actually paid attention until Encik Shukor, my next door neighbour in the office commented about it. In fact he actually thanked me for reciting the Quran every morning - as listeners also get the 'pahala' when one reads the Quran.

Hanum, who used to work in Mak's old office under Mak's supervision told me that when she first started working, Mak who was the Human Resource Manager in that Ministry reminded her to read the Quran everyday. Be it a page or two, but one must stay consistent in reading the Quran until it becomes a habit that's hard to die. Hanum recalls Mak telling her that we don't know what kind of trials, tribulations and obstacles we're going to face in our life, so having the Quran as a constant companion insya Allah will prove to be handy at difficult times.

Reading the Quran is good in Ramadhan. Joining a tadarus group is good in Ramadhan. But it would be even better if we could remain consistent about reading Quran on other days and become a life member of a long lasting tadarus group...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

What we did on Ujai's 4th birthday

Nothing much really, just took the kids out to Alamanda.

Hubby was not around, had to attend a 2-day course in Hulu Langat.
So I thought, why not take Ujai out for a birthday treat of sort.
At first I thought of having a date just with Ujai.
But on second thought, I decided to take all the kids plus Bibik out.
And I invited my cousin Firdaus to tag along - partly because she's good with the kids, and partly because I've missed having a chat with her.

Here are some photos taken on that night...


Ujai and Akif in Black-and-Red suits


The birthday boy who loves climbing


And doesn't know how to sit still even for a while
(there were loads of 'shaken' photos because he kept moving about)


Akif learning a new trick from his elder brother on how to play the sliding board
(climb on top of it instead of sliding on it)

Owh owh

And even when they slide 'properly', Ujai made sure that there was an a'la action movie stunt of colliding with Akif

And here's baby Asim looking at his two brothers


"Ibu, I promise I won't grow up to be like them"
(Yes Ibu, dream on...)

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Ujai is 4

(image from Law Memo)


4 years old. Already?

And to think that I remember this story oh-so-vividly.


Oh my – that first moment, the first time I was able to hold him
close in reality after carrying him inside me for nine months – it was pure heaven. There is nothing quite as unique – the feeling of joy, wonder, thankfulness all mixed up together. I even tried to shut my awareness that I had only 11 days before I was going to leave him, just so that I could enjoy our first moments together more. I lied on one side, feeding him, and all wrapped up in taking note of his features – his innocent huge black eyes, his tiny long fingers (like that famous Bollywood heartthrob Hritrik Roshan, my baby has a dual right thumb – so in his case he could even raise three thumbs up!) his soft dark hair, his birth mark, and all

And today Muhammad Azmi Huzaifah a.k.a Ujai is 4.
A really active, mischievious 4-year old who is always on the go, go, go.

Ask anyone who have been to our home and they will have all kind of stories to tell about Ujai. About him climbing the 2-door fridge without using any tools/ladder just to get the ice cream tub out.
Or him climbing the kitchen cabinets, to get at the supposed-to-be-hidden jar of sweets.
Or him walking/cycling on his own along the street side - not on the lane where we lived, but on the lane behind ours.

Personally I believe, in our neighborhood, Ujai is among most well-known boys for their streak of independence. Which at times could be a blessing and at other times, something to worry about.

I'm glad to note that he is more socially adjusted now compared to a year ago - when he was the culprit who bit other kids in his playschool. But he still has a lot to learn about sharing his toy and not treating other people's toys as his own.

He could recite a bits and pieces of Al-Fatihah now, loves climbing, sliding, and running.
He's very cheeky - if I sang (to the tune of Aliff's "Jangan Nakal")
"Please, please, please, Ujai jangan nakal. Kalau Ujai nakal, nanti Ibu marah",
he would sing back to me, "Plis, plis, plis, Ibu jangan nakal..."

He still loves "Thomas and Friends", and also very fond of "Transformers" and "Tom and Jerry". He loves his "Tom and Jerry" pyjamas, and proud owner of 3 pairs at the moment. He used to pester us on getting new Transformers toys at Petronas when there was a campaign going on while "Revenge of the Fallen" was showing at the cinema a few months back. Just two weeks ago, he gave me a RM5 note given to him by his Atok, asking me to buy "mainan Transformers". When we bought him a pair of Transformers rubber slippers using the RM5, he asked back - "mane mainan Transformers?". It's like he was reprimanding us "The RM5 was for a toy lah Ibu, not a pair of slippers. And I don't care that Ibu had gone and spent that money on some slippers, I still want my toy. Remember, Ujai asked for a toy, okay?"

Well, at least RM5 is a huge improvement compared to him giving me 40 sen, saying, "ini duit beli mainan Thomas" when I told him earlier I could not buy one because "takdak duit".

He still has lots of twinkle in his eyes, especially so when he has something up his sleeves. I love his ready smiles and his gleeful giggles. I'm still touched everytime he gives me a peck on the cheek or kisses the back of my right hand. Although we use the cloth hanger as a substitute for a rod, he's never hit unless it's really necessary.

Mak's friend, Auntie (Datin) Hendon once remarked something along the line of "if a kid grows up a happy and well-balanced person, he's going to be all right." Her own son was raised up according to the "happy kid" method - and while he strugged to read at 8 years, more than 20 years later, he became more successful than many others, a live testimonial to his mother's principles.

So yes, while my son Huzaifah is not a whizz kid who memorize verses from the Quran, or can read and count perfectly, or play a musical instrument or a well-trained acrobat or something, my husband and I believe in guiding him towards being a happy, well-balanced person.

We hope and pray that he, and the rest of our children, will be all right in this world and in the hereafter.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Islamic historical events in Ramadhan

Today, Ustaz Zamri (of "Ustaz Zamri Bercerita" & "Mari Mengaji") was the invited speaker for the office's Ihya Ramadhan program. It was my first time attending a ceramah by him, and I stayed awake throughout the program (which is a huge compliment for the speaker with my history of sleeping during lectures/class).

Just want to share about historical events in Muslim calendar that happened in Ramadhan (perhaps as motivation of sort to work hard and not being "lembik longlai" during this blessed month...)

- Battle of Badar took place on 17 Ramadhan, Year 02 Hijri, in which 313 Muslims, of whom only 60 were armored, faced 1000 well-armed and equipped Musyrikin.
- The Opening of Makkah happened in Ramadhan, Year 08 Hijri
- Battle of Al-Qadisiyyah was won in Ramadhan, Year 15 Hijri. The battle is regarded as the decisive battle in the Islamic conquest of Persia, and a key to the conquest of Iraq.
- Opening of Andalus under Commander Tariq bin Ziyad happened in Ramadhan, Year 92 Hijri
- Construction of Al-Azhar Mosque, which later became the Al-Azhar University in Cairo, Egypt commenced in Ramadhan, Year 361 Hijri
- Salahuddin Al-Ayubi led the Muslims in evicting European Crusaders from Syria in Ramadhan 584H
- The Battle of Ain Jalut was won by the Egyptian Mamluks against the Mongols (Tartar) in Year 658 Hijri. The battle is considered by many historians to be of great macro-historical importance, as it marked the highwater point of Mongol conquests, and the first time they had ever been decisively defeated. After previous defeats, the Mongols had always returned and avenged the loss, but after the Battle of Ain Jalut they were unable to do so. The Mongol Ilkhanate leader Hulagu Khan was not able to advance into Egypt, and the Khanate he established in Persia was only able to defeat the Mamluks once in subsequent expeditions, briefly reoccupying Syria and parts of Palestine for a few months in 1300.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Small things...

We went back to Seremban for the second time in Ramadhan during the Merdeka break.
Despite her loud yells and all (at the hyperactive grandsons who do not know when to stop) MIL was glad to have us back. Hubby was asked to lead the terawih prayer at the family's surau in Rasah. Since the request came from his Pak Teh, one of the most influential persons in hubby's life, he took a break from being the imam at Presint 14C2 for one night.

On Merdeka day, we brought MIL out to Seremban, hunting for a gas cooker. The one in the kitchen was all rusty and looked really "uzur", hubby and I thought MIL would appreciate getting a new gas cooker. Together with hubby's younger brother, we first checked the gas cookers/gas hobs in two electrical stores in Rahang area, just to survey the price. But having been to Jusco the previous day, hubby noticed that Jusco offered better products at a more competitive price.

So, we went to Jusco in Seremban 2. After a quick drop by at Tan Brothers Supermarket to look for a set of lesung batu. On her previous visit, Mak commented on the fact that I used to have a lesung batu set in Tokyo but none in Putrajaya, so I knew I had to get one fast. We found a nice set priced RM18.90 in Tan Brothers, but I thought what with the sale going on in Jusco, we might get it for a better price in Jusco.

And we did.

I got my lesung batu for about RM17.50.
And we got a good deal for MIL's new gas hob too.
Just RM278 for an Elba 3-burner gas hob which usually costs RM348.

It was not hard to tell that MIL was really pleased with her new gas hob. She said that FIL has been commenting on how old and rusty the previous gas hob was, but he did not go and buy a new one for her. So our pre-Raya gift for her is something that she really appreciates. Last year we got her a new washing machine. The new machine saved her the trouble of keeping track of the wash cycle because with the old machine she had to manually ensure that the machine is filled with water for washing and rinsing. The new machine enabled her to enjoy more time with her children and grandchildren.

She has worried about the old gas cooker causing her trouble some day - either through being dysfunctional or simply refusing to light up anymore. Now that the new gas hob is in the kitchen, we hope she won't have to worry about such stuff anymore. She looked really cheerful when she thanked us profusely for getting that gas hob.

I know that gas hob may not seem like a great pre-Raya gift.
It's not like we're getting her one of those super cosy massage couch.
Or sponsor a trip to Makkah.
But seeing her smiles, proof of her obvious delight with the small gift, really mean a lot to us.

#####

Mak is not feeling well.
I only learned about it last Friday when I wanted to check from where we could get more coupons for Nasi Arab Amal.
(The kariah at Presint 14C2 are keen to make contribution for the Iftar Ramadan in Gaza project through sales of Nasi Arab Amal. In fact my own colleagues at office are thinking of having one Iftar session for us using the Nasi Arab Amal coupons.)
Please join me in making doa for her and for my Ayah too - for them to be granted with good health during this blessed month of Ramadhan and thenafter.

My boy Humaidi is also not feeling very well.
First it was baby Haniyya - who had to give his 6-month jab a miss because he was down with high temperature and flu.
Then, it was Huzaifah - who was also down with flu.
And now it's Humaidi's turn.
Poor boy is now not as active as he usually is, but alhamdulillah he's showing signs of quick recovery.
Please make doa for him, yeah?

Friday, August 28, 2009

Melihat pada kata-kata atau yang berkata-kata?

"Dia tu siapa orang nak panggil Ustaz? Dahla asalnya pun dari kumpulan sesat..."

Entah kenapa hati saya merasa sedikit panas mendengar nama seseorang yang telah kembali ke rahmatullah diburukkan sebegitu.
Serasa mahu saja saya melawan untuk mematikan kata yang berkata, tetapi saya juga perlu hormat pada 'senior' yang baru kali pertama bersua dan berkenalan.
Saya diam.
Tapi hati saya meronta-ronta mahu berkata...

Mungkin dia pernah datang dari kumpulan sesat,
tapi kita tahukah kalau dia bertaubat dan Allah menerima taubatnya?
Mungkin dia bukan dari latar belakang akademik jurusan agama,
tapi kita tahukah segala selok belok tarbiyah yang dia terima?
Kenapa hanya mahu nampak yang salah-salah saja,
tak bolehkah melihat pada yang baik-baik?
Ada yang kata nasyid sepatutnya begini, begini, dan nasyid dia begitu, begitu
dan itu bukan memenuhi hasrat dakwah Islamiah...
Tapi sejujurnya, pada saya, dan saya rasa pada ramai yang lain
dia dan rakan seangkatannya memberi satu alternatif yang didahagakan ramai
Dia dan rakan seperjuangannya komited dalam usaha dakwah
Nasyid-nasyid, zikir-zikir, selawat-selawat yang didendangkannya banyak yang menusuk-nusuk hati dan menggetarkan jiwa para pendengar
Bukankah itu satu usaha dakwah?
Sejujurnya saya tidak nampak sebab kenapa kita harus menafikan dia hak untuk digelar ustaz walaupun mungkin dia tidak mempunyai latar belakang pendidikan agama secara formal sehingga menerima 'tauliah' sebagai ustaz.
Gelaran ustaz itu kadang-kadang diguna sebagai tanda hormat
Apalah salahnya teman-teman dan orang lain yang menghormatinya memanggilnya ustaz?

Pada saya, ada masa-masanya kita perlu lebih muhasabah diri sendiri
daripada terus-terusan memperkecilkan (usaha) orang lain
Inisiatif dia berjuang di bidang nasyid sudah pun nampak hasilnya, walau di dunia cuma...
Inisiatif yang berkata-kata memperkecil dan memperlekehnya apa pula?
Bukankah ada masanya kita perlu lebihkan tumpuan
pada mesej dakwah yang disampaikan
berbanding individu yang berdakwah itu sendiri?
Bukankah ada waktunya kita perlu lebih fokus
pada kata-kata
berbanding yang berkata-kata?

Ramadhan High-Way Code


Taken from IslamicPoster
Simple yet spot on.
Concise and precise.
(But to do or not to do, that is the question of our iman...)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cerita ceriti puasa

After spending 3 Ramadhan as a student, Ramadhan at work is kind of 'new' again.
I know, I've been through it before.
But those days, I was still single; not married with three kids like I am today.
There was no real sense of urgency for me to get home before break of fast, and I was pretty much used to breaking fast in the car, on the way back home.
Alhamdulillah home is now just 10 - 20 minutes away from office (depending on traffic flow), and I have a trusty helper at home too.

Anyway, the good thing about fasting in the office is that I get to join a tadarus group. When I was in Tokyo, hubby checked on my Quran reading every once in a while. We could not commit ourselves to being consistent in it. Very unlike the small group that we have in the office - not only we checked each other's reading, we also share the translation of the ayat that we read. I can't say whether or not the group will continue having this tadarus group after Ramadhan ends, but I really appreciate it while it lasts...

The other good thing about fasting in a Malaysian government office is that we get to attend lots of "Ihya Ramadhan" programs. Talks/Forums are scheduled on almost all working days through out the month. Yusri, a colleague who has just returned from Paris, is keen on asking me to join him attending those talks/forums. Which is of course, something that we've both missed during our stay abroad. It was not so bad for me because once in a while, some group of Malaysian/Indonesian students would congregate at Asakusa mosque for "Semarak Ramadhan" program, but Yusri rarely had the chance of attending an "Ihya Ramadhan" program while he was in France. So yes, being given the opportunity, the rezq to attend "the meadows of Paradise"* in the office is something that we are really thankful for, alhamdulillah.

The not-so-great thing about spending Ramadhan in the office is that we have to communicate with others. Things might get heated up, things might go wrong and in the middle of it there is bound to be some resentment, dissatisfaction, anger, frustration etc. It is not easy to deal with all these negativity while one is fasting and wants to remain calm so as not to cause "decreased points" in fasting but at times, well, it happened anyway.

Oh, by the by, hubby had been invited to be the Imam for solat Terawih in a make-shift surau at Presint 14C2. Funny to note that after having used to lead the solat in a mosque in Tokyo, now that we're back, hubby is leading solat in a make-shift surau (2 20ft x 20ft tents) in Malaysia.
Siapa sangka, kan?

Note *
In reference of the hadith, which loosely translated as
When you pass by the meadows of Paradise indulge freely in it!
They said: O Messenger of Allah! What are the meadows of Paradise?
He said: The circles of 'ilm (knowledge)
Another related hadith would be,
"He who treads the path in search of 'ilm (knowledge), Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise"

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Notes on puasa

Some notes taken from an "Ihya Ramadhan" program yesterday

Q: Is this fast valid?
1. One who fasts while undergoing hemodialysis
Valid.
Among what can deem one's fast invalid is when anything enters a person's "rongga" (including but not limiting to one's nose and mouth). Hemodialysis is not considered to be inserting something into one's "rongga"

2. One who fasts and uses inhaler for treatment of asthma
Invalid.
Unlike rinsing out the mouth or putting drops in the eye, using inhaler is considered as inserting something (usually salbutimol) into one's "rongga".

3. One who fasts and get an injection for medical purposes
Valid.
An injection in the muscle is allowed during fasting but not an intravenous nutritional injection. Likewise, getting an IV drip will render one's fast as invalid because it can act as a substitute for food, yet fasting is to abstain from taking food in any form.

Q: When should I stop fasting?
1. "I started fasting in Country A which started fasting earlier than Country B by one day. I then moved to Country B before Eid and the Ramadhan that year lasts for 30 days. Should I stop fasting earlier than others?"
Yes.
One can only fast for up to 30 days and no more. So in this case, the person could not fast on the 31st day although it was the 30th day for others in Country B.

2."I started fasting in Country X which started fasting later than Country Y by one day. I then moved to Country Y before Eid and Ramadhan that year lasts for 29 days in Country Y. When should I stop fasting?"
In this case the person must not fast on the day Eid is celebrated in Country Y as fasting on Eid is prohibited. However, he or she must make up the days lost by 'qadha' the fast on other days. It is recommended that he or she to make up the days lost until the total day of fasting amounts to 30 days.

#####

Hope this is of benefit to those who were wondering...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Hopes for this Ramadhan

I hope that Muslims will make the most out of these especially blessed 29/30 days...
to repent for all kind of wrong doings
to apologize and grant forgiveness to others
to increase all kind of ibadah and good deeds

I hope that Allah will make it easier for those in places experiencing summer to fast throughout the month.
The long day, the heat, the humidity...
I'll pray that Allah will make it easy for them
And that those who have it easy and still refuse to fast to learn a lesson or two from their Muslim counterparts in those countries experiencing hot sultry summer...
(yes Ju, you are in my prayer...)

I hope that Allah will grant those who have just learn to fast the strength and patience needed.
Be them small kids, new reverts or adult born Muslims who have just started to fast after failing to do so before this.
Let their start be a fruitful one that will lead them to be closer to Allah...
And I hope that there will be less born Muslims trying not to fast during this holy month and drift further away from Allah AlMighty...

I hope that those who are venturing into new areas - wearing tudung, trying to quit smoking, nibbling on food all the time - will be granted strength and self-discipline needed to keep continue doing the good things even after Ramadhan is over

I hope that there will be less Muslims who claim that they fast but missed the real significance of fasting in Ramadhan...
Like those who overspend at Pasar Ramadhan (PaRam) and waste a lot of food at the end of the day
Or like Muslims who 'fast' yet break her/his fast with alcohol
Or like that Muslim couple who asked in an Aunt Agony column, what is the 'kifarah' for an unmarried couple who fornicated during the day in Ramadhan
Or like those Muslim girls (tudung-clad or otherwise, but especially the tudung-clad ones) and their partners who continued all sort of 'ringan-ringan' activities despite not eating or drinking during the day
I pray that Allah will guide them to learn and understand the real meaning of fasting and not continuing getting simply thirst and hunger in their endeavour

I hope that all the great not-to-be-missed bargains in Ramadhan -
the night of 1000 months,
the super extra blessings,
the promised rewards in the hereafter
will entice all Muslims to do good and do better.
And that we will keep the momentum going even after Ramadhan leaves...

Ahlan wa sahlan wa marhaban ya Ramadhan

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Air tangan

Kami - saya dan Yati, bibik di rumah - bangun awal pagi ini.
Bertungkus lumus siapkan mee bandung
Untuk hidangan sarapan pagi secara pot-luck di pejabat.

Di pejabat, ada pegawai yang bertanya
"Mee ni puan yang buat ke?"

"Kenapa, tak percaya?"

"Manalah tau, puan kan ada bibik..."

Ada masa-masa memang bibik boleh diharapkan membantu tugas memasak.
Tetapi bibik saya belum dilatih memasak mee bandung (atau mee jawa sekalipun walaupun dia asalnya dari Jawa)
Sesekali memang seronok berkongsi makan-makan di pejabat.
Rasa seronok dan puas bila hidangan yang disaji habis licin dinikmati teman-teman sepejabat.

"Ya, memang ada bibik. Tapi ini kan jamuan sempena meraikan Ramadhan yang bakal tiba, jadi mestilah lebih istimewa. Sesekali saya masak sendiri, bagi yang lain rasa sikit air tangan saya ini."

"Sedap puan, boleh buka kedai ni..."

Sebenarnya mee bandung yang saya hasilkan pagi tadi kekurangan bahan (serai dan saya gantikan sup tomato dengan tomato puree. Saya memang tidak guna kacang atau keledek untuk memekatkan kuah mee bandung saya, sebaliknya guna sup tomato dan bancuhan tepung jagung). Namun, alhamdulillah mee bandung saya mendapat sambutan yang amat menggalakkan. Saya mengaku yang saya sudah lama tidak masak mee bandung, jadi alhamdulillah masih menjadi juga sentuhan kali ini...

Malam tadi Pak Ustaz meragui bila saya katakan padanya saya mahu bangun awal pagi untuk masak mee bandung, "Eleh, bangun buat sarapan sehari-hari pun jarang sekali"
(Dush dush)

Tapi pagi ini dengan hati berbunga-bunga, saya lihat dia bawa bekal mee bandung ke tempat kerja dan beria-ia memuji kesedapan kuah mee yang kekurangan bahan itu.
Ah, mungkin ada benarnya kata orang tua-tua, isteri perlu pandai memikat hati suami melalui perutnya...

Sikit je...

"Ada panggilan untuk ceramah tak bulan Ramadhan ni nanti?"

"Tak ada".

"Oh"

"Agaknya tak dijemput bagi ceramah sebab orang pun faham letih bila berdiri dua jam berterusan... Letih la..."

"Alah, baru berdiri dua jam bagi ceramah pun letih. Rasulullah dan sahabat-sahabat dulu tu berjihad angkat senjata masa puasa, takdak masalah pun... Kita ni cuma berjihad angkat pen, angkat kertas pun dah mengadu macam-macam"

Oopss...
Jadi, ini peringatan untuk diri sendiri;
jangan bagi alasan letih (yang merugikan diri sendiri) untuk menghidupkan Ramadhan kali ini.
Baik melalui ibadah khusus mahupun ibadah am.
Tiada kompromi untuk merungut tak cukup tidur dan menurunkan produktiviti.
Ramadhan bulan istimewa.
Bulan yang patut disambut dengan penuh ceria, bertenaga dan teruja.

Ping Pong - the pics II

Here's a proof that on 1 August 2009 I was in Komples Sukan MSN Perlis, not clad in either red or black attire...
Coincidentally, our department's Batu Seremban team wore red t-shirts, but I doubt they were aware of the siginificance of wearing either red/black on that particular day (in Malaysian history).
Two other department's Ping-pong team wore red and black jersey.
But that day we were busy with our own small, insignificant agenda in Perlis, far and away from all the lock jam/tear gas/water cannons in Kuala Lumpur.
(I also doubt that the players realised the significance of wearing red/black on that very day...)

Note to Mida - yes, I still practised the "slimming effect stance" in the photo, hehehe...


The players, with our Mr Manager in the middle. Thanks to him, we get to keep the nice blue Butterfly (among big names in Ping-pong, the way Nike and Adidas are related to Basketball or track-related sports) jersey. My partner, Encik Lan, is the far right standing guy, in kakhis.


With the three loyal supporters (and Kak Pah being my constant companion/chaperon throughout the 3-days outing) who stayed until the end of the tournament when the Batu Seremban girls had already gone back to the hostel

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Selamat...

Took a leave yesterday because Baby Haniyya is down with cold/flu/cough.
Poor baby was taken to see a doctor on last Saturday when he was given a nebulizer treatment there in the clinic and we returned home with three different kind of medicine - for high temperature, for pleghm and antibiotic.
His temperature is not stable - sometimes it's high, sometimes not quite.
But there were a lot of tossing at night (and loss of sleep) as he keeps merengek at night.
Poor Haniyya.

So, he sets the record so far among my sons, to be the earliest to receive nebulizer treatement.
Both hubby and I are asthmatic and now it seems that all our children have some respiratory problem too.
Huzaifah had his first nebulizer treatment when he was about 9 months if I'm not mistaken, in Tokyo. Since then there had been subsequent treatments including two ambulance rides due to asthma related incidents.
Humaidi had his first nebulizer treatment when he was 1 1/2 year old, not long after we returned to Malaysia last year.
Baby Haniyya had his first nebulizer treatment at 6 month.
Poor baby.

He's supposed to get his 6-month jab yesterday.
But there was no point taking him to the clinic because he won't get any jab in his current condition.
Not while he's still down with cold/flu/cough.
Not while he's still on medication.
He's not as boisterous as his two big brothers were at his age.
But now he seems even less lively.
So tak bermaya.
Poor baby.

Please make doa that my baby will recover soon.
It's worrying - especially now in the wake of the H1N1 pandemic/epidemic.
May Allah protect us from any harm, and may we be among those blessed and protected by Him always...

*****

Now that Ramadhan is only a few days away, I hereby seek forgiveness from my readers - family, friends, strangers and all.
Selamat berpesta ibadah di Ramadhan mubarak
dan semoga kekal istiqamah berpesta ibadah di bulan lain...
(I've failed the second part again... and again... and again... I know, I'm so weak that way)
I pray that Allah will grace us to meet, greet Lailatul Qadr wisely and make the best of the extra special night.
Have a blessed, blissful and meaningful Ramadhan.
Ramadhan kareem!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Al fatihah for Ustaz Asri Rabbani

Al-Fatihah for Ustaz Asri Ibrahim a.k.a. Asri Rabbani, who passed away earlier today.

Being from religious school background, I grew up listening to Nada Murni and 'old school' nasyid groups which usually recorded their album at OVA with Allahyarham Ustaz Asri's name mentioned among those acknowleged on the album cover.

In late 1990's, when The Zikr turned a new leaf as Raihan, Nada Murni rebranded themselves as Rabbani and Hijjaz.
I have always preferred Raihan and Hijjaz over Rabbani, but that is not to say that I am not fond of Ustaz Asri.
After all, certain nasyids sound way better when they were sung by Allahyarham Ustaz Asri in his Nada Murni days compared to the "newer version" being sung by others.
He'd been consistent in conveying Islamic message through nasyid through out his life, believing strongly in providing halal alternative form of music and entertainment.

My hope is that his legacy of many nasyid, zikr, selawat etc, will be counted by Allah as part of his "investments" that will benefit him in the hereafter. May he and his family be blessed and protected by Allah always...

*****

I would also appreciate if you can join me in making doa for a colleague.
He's been a confirmed H1N1 patient and is now being treated for it in Subang Jaya.
Been trying to call him but to no avail.
Since it's not advisable to visit H1N1 patients, the best we, his friends, can do for him is to continuously make doa for him and his family...

Interview panel... 5 tips

Adik-adik,

Ya, saya tahu anda semua cuma lulusan SPM.
Dan saya tahu ramai di antara anda yang datang dari keluarga susah, yang amat memerlukan pekerjaan.
Tetapi saya juga punya tanggungjawab untuk memilih yang paling sesuai untuk diletakkan di jawatan yang anda pohon.
Anda tahu berapa banyak permohonan yang telah diterima dalam setahun untuk jawatan ini?
173,438
Dan anda tahu berapa kekosongan yang ada?
647, dengan 3400 simpanan
Sebenarnya anda bertuah kerana menjadi sebahagian daripada 30,203 yang dipanggil temuduga (terbahagi kepada banyak lembaga, di mana setiap lembaga dipertanggungjawabkan untuk menemuduga sekitar 100 - 180 calon).
Jadi jika anda memang benar-benar inginkan jawatan ini, tunjukkan kesungguhan dan minat anda serta serlahkan keupayaan anda dalam beberapa minit yang ada sewaktu ditemuduga.

Melihatkan dia gagal menjawab walau satu soalan pun dengan baik, malah Rukun Negara pun tidak dapat diingatinya, saya pernah bertanya seorang calon,
"Apa persediaan awak sebelum datang temuduga ini?"
"Saya tak sempat buat apa-apa persediaan sebab sibuk dengan tugasan harian. Malam tadi baru saya sempat print resume saya."
"Bila awak terima surat pemberitahuan temuduga?"
"Emm, sebulan yang lepas."
"Dan awak beritahu saya yang awak tak sempat buat apa-apa persediaan langsung dalam tempoh sebulan?"
"..."

Dan seorang lagi calon yang juga gagal menjawab hatta satu pun soalan dengan baik, bila ditanya apa persediaan sebelum datang temuduga menjawab,
"Terus terang saya katakan, saya memang tidak membuat sebarang persediaan. Saya main belasah saja datang temuduga, mana tahu kot-kot ada rezeki saya ke..."

Adik-adik,
Kalau adiklah yang berada di kedudukan saya sebagai penemuduga, yang cuma boleh memilih 4 orang daripada lebih 100 calon, sejujurnya, adakah adik akan memilih calon sebegini?

Jadi mari saya kongsikan beberapa tip untuk menghadiri temuduga sebagai pembantu tadbir:

Tip 1
Buatlah sedikit kerja rumah!
Ketahui serba sedikit tentang jawatan yang dipohon, apa senarai tugas seorang pembantu tadbir (perkeranian/operasi). Bersedia untuk ditanya tentang situasi kerja jawatan yang dipohon - mislanya kami ada membuat role-play tentang pelanggan kaunter yang sedang marah dan tidak dapat diselesaikan masalahnya pada waktu tersebut. Tanya pada kawan, saudara-mara, kawan kepada kawan yang berada dalam jawatan kerajaan. Jangan bersandar kepada pengalaman kerja yang anda ada semata-mata, tapi cuba olah pengalaman yang anda ada selari dengan keperluan untuk jawatan yang anda pohon dan sedang ditemuduga. Seorang calon mempunyai pengalaman bertahun-tahun sebagai operator pengeluaran, naik menjadi line leader dan kini seorang supervisor di kilang di mana dia bekerja sekarang, tetapi apabila ditanya tentang tugas seorang pembantu tadbir, dia diam kerana tidak tahu dan tidak pasti apa jawapannya.

Tip 2
Buatlah temuduga olok-olok sebagai latihan
Saya mengaku, seorang daripada calon yang terpilih sangat lancar dan fasih sewaktu temuduga dan telah berjaya membuat kedua-dua kami di panel temuduga kagum dengannya. Bila bertanya apa persediaan yang dilakukannya, calon menjawab,
"Saya banyak berlatih temuduga dengan ahli keluarga dan kawan-kawan. Kami agak-agak apa soalan yang akan ditanya dan saya juga ada baca sedikit sebanyak sebagai persediaan"
Kalau anda jenis gugup, saya rasa mungkin temuduga olok-olok sebagai satu latihan dapat memperkemaskan persembahan anda di temuduga sebenar.
Di temuduga olok-olok, anda masih berpeluang menulis jawapan untuk soalan-soalan jangkaan, dan berlatih memberi jawapan dengan penuh yakin.

Tip 3
Serlahkan minat dan keyakinan
Kami cuma ada beberapa minit dengan anda sewaktu temuduga. Jadi buatlah yang terbaik untuk kami jadi kagum dengan anda dan memilih anda. Masuk bilik temuduga dengan memberi salam, senyum, bercakap dengan suara yang jelas, bercakap sambil memandang penemuduga dan jawab semua soalan dengan tenang, yakin dan tunjukkan kesungguhan.
Seorang calon lelaki yang ditemuduga menyelitkan sijil penyertaan dalam koir lagu patriotik antara sijil-sijil yang dikemukakan, jadi kami memintanya untuk menyanyikan sebuah lagu patriotik. Calon tersebut menyanyi sambil lewa dengan mata melilau-lilau sekeliling bilik temuduga menyebabkan kami merasakan beliau tidak ada kesungguhan untuk membuatkan kami rasa 'WOW" dengan kelebihan/kemahiran istimewa yang ada padanya.
Ya, beliau gagal dalam temuduga itu.
Dan ya, kami memang ada bertanya tentang kelebihan/kemahiran istimewa setiap calon...
Jawapan yang biasa kami dengar termasuklah,
"Saya pandai menggunakan komputer, Word, Powerpoint, Adobe Photo Shop..."
"Saya rajin, menepati masa, bersedia kerja lebih masa..."
"Saya boleh bergaul dengan semua jenis orang..."
Itu jawapan-jawapan klise.
Jawapan yang kami utamakan adalah yang di luar kebiasaan.

Tip 4
Jangan gopoh (dan jangan bengkeng)
Sebelum memperkenalkan dirinya, seorang calon telah mengucapkan terima kasih kepada kedua-dua penemuduga yang disangkakannya bertugas di jabatan tempat temuduga dijalankan dan beliau menyangka bahawa jika diterima, akan bertugas di jabatan berkenaan.
Dan peluang memperkenalkan diri yang diberikan digunakan sebegitu rupa sehingga tidak memberi peluang kepada penemuduga untuk mencelah sehingga saya terpaksa memintanya berhenti.
Lalu saya perbetulkan tanggapan salahnya - bahawa saya dan teman saya bukanlah dari jabatan tempat temuduga dijalankan dan jika berjaya, tidak semestinya beliau akan bertugas di jabatan berkenaan. Cuba baca semula surat tawaran temuduga - ada tertulis "pelbagai jabatan", bukan?
Dia terkesima.

Seorang calon wanita apabila diminta menamakan 2 orang Menteri Kabinet dan jawatannya, memprotes, "Saya pernah hadiri temuduga sebelum ini tapi tak ada pula ditanya tentang nama menteri"
"Jadi apa soalan yang ditanya dalam temuduga sebelum ini?"
"Soalan umum, tentang peranan saya sebagai belia dalam menangani masalah gejala sosial yang berlaku di kalangan belia"
"Ok. Cuba ceritakan dengan saya tentang peranan yang awak dapat mainkan sebagai belia dalam menangani masalah sosial di kalangan belia di negara kita"
Hah - malangnya, jawapan yang diterima tidak juga memberi kesan "WOW" ke atas saya.

Tip 5
Sesuaikan diri.
Lain penemuduga, lain stailnya. Beri perhatian kepada maklumat-maklumat yang ada dan persekitaran untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan persembahan sebagai calon. Anda nampak saya (lazimnya calon temuduga hadir ke tempat temuduga lebih awal daripada panel temuduga) bertudung dan tidak bermekap, ya, saya memang lebih senang dengan penampilan yang tidak berlebih-lebih. Kebetulan, wakil jabatan yang menemani saya sepanjang temuduga itu juga sama tarikh lahirnya dengan saya, jadi citarasa kami hampir serupa. Bila ada dua-tiga calon yang masuk dengan memakai haruman yang menusuk-nusuk hidung, awal-awal lagi telah ditolak markah penampilan dirinya. Begitu juga dengan yang tidak menghormati etika pakaian bagi penjawat awam - datang dengan berblaus dan berseluar panjang bagi calon wanita, misalnya - juga telah ditolak markah penampilan diri.
Ada seorang calon yang meletakkan gambar bertudung di resume, juga bertudung dalam MyKad tetapi tidak bertudung sewaktu menghadiri temuduga. Di akhir sesi temuduga, saya menegurnya, "Saya lihat gambar yang awak berikan bertudung, dan gambar MyKad awak juga bertudung, tetapi awak tidak bertudung sekarang. Saya cuma mahu katakan pada awak, bila awak telah lakukan sesuatu yang betul mengikut suruhan Tuhan, teruskanlah..."
Ya, saya lebih berminat dengan calon yang tidak berpura-pura - jika bertudung di gambar yang dilekatkan pada resume, bertudunglah dia semasa menghadiri temuduga. Dan sebaliknya.
Tetapi ini cumalah kami...
Seperti yang telah saya katakan - sesuaikan dengan penemuduga, kerana lain penemuga lain stailnya.

Saya harap tip-tip yang diberikan ini dapat memberi manfaat, khususnya kepada anda yang ada kebolehan bekerja dengan baik tetapi sering kandas di temuduga...

Monday, August 10, 2009

Interview panel...

Out of 102 people we interviewed, we could pick out 4.
Just 4 will be offered the job.
On top of that, we could nominate another 20 as reserves.
And we were lucky because more than 60 did not turn out for the interview, otherwise it would be even more difficult for us to do the selection.

It was my first time sitting as the chairperson of an interview panel.
I only agreed to do it because I had had no experience whatsoever sitting in an interview panel before.
Oh my - I know I won't agree to do it again in the near future.
It was tough.
Yes, it was only for clerks - but the competition is very stiff.
And we had to find the balance too - between pure academic merits and other criterias, such as family background.
I mean, if they perform equally well during the interview - between (a) a single SPM holder from rural area who has 12 siblings, 8 still in school, a stay-at-home-mom and a retiree dad and (b) a Diploma holder who has 2 siblings with working parents, I would give more credits to (a) than (b). But that's just me...

There were 2 of us as panel.
Apart from asking candidates to introduce themselves, we asked simple questions such as (not all questions to all individuals, but rather mix-and-match of sort):
- Rukun Negara (in one instance because the candidate had trouble mixing Rukun Negara with Rukun Islam, we asked him to tell us the Rukun Islam);
- name 2 Cabinet ministers apart from PM and TPM or name 2 MB/Chief Ministers;
- what was the current H1N1-related death cases reported on the inteview day;
- what happened in KL on August 1st and why;
- PPSMI's pros and cons;
- explain the concept of 1Malaysia, or at least tell us the motto of 1Malaysia;
Basically, we asked questions that even high school students could answer if they read the newspaper/watch news on TV and have some interests in what's happening in the country.

Apart from that we also asked them about what they know about the position offered or what they believe the job is all about. For those who are already in the government sector, we asked them a little bit more about stuff we expect officers at their level should be familiar with - General Orders, Golden Handshake and stuff. Nothing too specific - merely general knowledge.

At the end of the day, I must admit that most of them don't read too much.
One girl, when asked about how many H1N1 death related cases reported in Malaysia so far (8 on that day), answered "25,000"
Another confidently named "Tan Sri Khalid Jamlus" as the MB of Selangor
Yet another named "Datuk S Samy Vellu" and "Dato' Chua Soi Lek" as 2 current Cabinet Ministers.
And I got all sort of 'new' definitions for ISA (Internal Security Act)
Most of them knew that some 'riots' or 'demonstration' happened, but they seemed not to really understand why 20,000 or so people from all over Malaysia gathered in Kuala Lumpur that day. (I got tired of getting responses carbon-copied from mainstream newspapers, I stopped asking)

When asked about why they wanted to join the government service, typical answers include:
"Kerja kerajaan terjamin",
"Cerah masa depan kalau kerja kerajaan",
"Tak kena buang kerja walaupun masa ekonomi merudum",
"Kerja kerajaan banyak perks, benefits... pergi hospital percuma untuk diri, untuk anak-anak, boleh dapat biasiswa sambung study, dapat cuti sambung study"
Et cetera.
So, it was no surprise that both of us in the panel took an instant liking to a candidate who, when asked why he would like to join the government service, answered earnestly,
"Sebab saya rasa peluang untuk saya mendalami Islam lebih cerah sekiranya saya bekerja di sektor kerajaan"
He's a muallaf Iban, who reverted to Islam in 2004.
When asked what's the name of the current month in Islamic Calendar, he answered "Syaaban" quicker than some born Muslims.

On Nisfu Syaaban, I asked some to tell me what was the previous night's name according to Islamic Calendar.
Answers included "Isra' Mikraj", "Nuzul Quran" and even "Lailatul Qadar" before the candidate quickly added herself "Isy, tak kan lah kot, Lailatul Qadar mana ada tarikh, masa Ramadhan je pulak tu..."
But one particular girl really stood out from the rest
"What was last night according to Islamic Calendar?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure"
"What is this month in Islamic Calendar"
"Hmm, Rabi'ul Akhir?"
"When do we start fasting?"
"End of this month?"
"What is the name of fasting month?"
"Ramadhan"
"What is the name of the month before Ramadhan?"
"Hmm..."
"Okay, okay, I'll ask an easy one, what is the date of Ma'al Hijrah?"
"14 Rabi'ul Awal?"
"Okay, an even easier one - from where to where did Rasulullah performed the Hijrah?"
"Err... from Madinah?"

With that kind of response from a born Muslim, it was easy to see why we were impressed with the Iban muallaf. In Japan, it would be a big achievement for a Muslim revert to pray 5 times a day after 5 years being a Muslim. This guy, he's been praying 5 times a day after he reverted and he had started fasting in Ramadhan even before he officially pronounced the shahadah.

Yes, he's one of the 4 who we nominated to be offered the job.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Rezeki di Nisfu Syaaban

Won a hamper from MuzikFM this morning.
Didn't expect it.
And it's not like I am a frequent caller on a national radio.
But this morning, the topic discussed on "Chit-chat pagi" at MuzikFM was "pengalaman mendapat cahayamata pertama".
And I just couldn't resist calling - and got through after my second try.
So I shared how I had to leave my son with my mother 11 days after I gave birth.
That my baby and hubby only joined me in Japan after more than 6 months later.
How surprised (and embarrassed) I was to find out that I blurted a lot - while I was not fully conscious - to the doctor who had to attend to the 'natural tear' which caused hematoma after I gave birth.
How I could no longer postpone my trip to Japan or otherwise I would not get the scholarship.
And finally, how rewarding it was when on my graduation day, I took Huzaifah on stage to stand next to me as I was conferred the Master degree.
(They even asked me to say some thing in Japanese, which I did, but it was not a full sentence... I muttered "Minna-san, Muaz-san to Azura-san to issho..." I should've completed the sentence with "... itte kudasai" or something along that line. Oh well...)

The next thing I know, not long after I called, I got a call from MuzikFM conti.
DJ Azura wanted to get my details - full name, IC number, address, the stuff.
"Can you pick up the hamper from RTM? Maybe by next two week or so?"
I was surprised "Eh, I got a hamper?"
"Yup, you won this morning best chit-chat"
"Owh, thank you. And yes, I think I can go and pick up the hamper at RTM."

When I looked at Huzaifah during lunch, suddenly it all came back to me - the "sakit perit" of being away from my newborn baby merely days after he was born.
At almost 4, my first born could really cause headaches with all his non-stop activities - he runs when others walk, climbs when others sit, always on the move, on the move, on the move.
But this afternoon, when he came to me and kissed me on both cheeks just before he asked "Ibu, nak gule", I looked back really closely and saw the baby I missed oh-so-much during those early lonely days in Tokyo...
I hugged him tightly.
Kissed him back on both cheeks.
Yes, he might drive my nuts sometimes with his antics, but he's a sweetheart too.
(like Ayah sometimes said "ada anak susah, tak ada anak susah, tapi baik ada daripada tak dak")

"Ibu, nak gule boleh tak? Boleh la...", he repeated asking for some sweets.
I nodded. And hugged him again.
Sometimes a mother needs to be reminded how special each child is.
And it's easy to forget when there are more than one kid in the family.
"Ibu sayang Ujai. Sayang sangat"

Monday, August 03, 2009

Ping Pong - Inter-departmental Tournament 2009

Went to Perlis for J*A's Inter-departmental Tournament 2009.
Spent 3 days and 3 nights away from the family and really, really missed baby Haniyya. In fact, it was the first time I spent any night away from baby Haniyya.
I had had numerous (not merely second) thought about joining the trip to Perlis. But when my boss mentioned in our sectoral meeting that The Big Director has highlighted our sector's lack of participation in the departments sports team, I made up my mind there and then to announced that I would be joining the department's ping pong team to Perlis for the J*A's Inter-departmental tournament. Yes, I know, I always find it difficult to resist any challenge hurled my way, and to me, it was kind of a challenge...

So, Thursday night, I boarded one of the three buses provided, together with 100 plus other officers and support staff to Perlis. Friday evening, we attended a motivational speech by TKPPA(O) (who used to be Mak's officer) in Dewan Warisan, and Friday night we were introduced to Woodball game, and then our players competed for the Congkak Inter-departmental tournament. Despite winning the third place last year, this year our department did not made it past the preliminary round. And I'm afraid I might played a teeny meeny tiny part in it by asking one of the main player to accompany me to a bazar near the Dataran Sheikh Ahmad when the preliminary round was not yet over. Kak Pah, the 'pemain harapan' of our team missed the second game and a substitute player played instead, and we lost. So we did not win any placement for congkak this year (according to Kak Pah, we were No 1 in 2007 and No 3 in 2008, so it was quite a shock not to made it even to the semi-final)

Saturday morning was the day for ping pong and batu seremban players. I wore a long sleeved navy blue t-shirt, only to be told by our Captain that there's a light blue Butterfly jersey similar to those worn by the male team members waiting for me. Upon seeing the jersey for the first time, I worried about it being too tight for me. Alhamdulillah, as it turned out, our Mr Manager was wise enough to get a jersey in a plus size for me. I first thought it would be okay to put on the jersey on top of the navy blue t-shirt, but as it turned out, no air-conditioner was turned on at Kompleks Sukan Negeri Perlis that morning, so I had to change. It was good that I usually had a pair of hand-socks ready in my handbag, because the jersey provided was short-sleeved which meant I had to put on my hand-socks.

Although it was the first time I played mixed double next to Encik Mazlan/Lan (a.k.a Loyot who also used to study and live in Tokyo), I found it easy for us to get along with each other and get attuned to each other's tempo. Our department team won the preliminary round in Group A, which mean we had to meet the second placed team from Group B, the Pension department, in the semi-final.

It was tough fight in semi-final. Encik Lan and I won the first set, but lost the subsequent 3 sets, all in deuce fights. At one time Encik Lan and I were leading by 8-0 in the third set, but we ended up losing our game 3-1. Our team lost to Pension department, 3-2. (The Pension department went on to be the No 2 in the tournament, after they lost to INTAN)

We met the Admin department in No 3/4 placement battle. Encik Lan and I won our game 3-1 (eventhough we lost the game by 2-3 to the same couple in the preliminary round). Prior to that, while we were still playing the third set if I'm not mistaken, a team member whispered, "Puan, kita kena menang ni. Ini deciding match, kita tengah hang 2-2". I looked at Encik Lan, he nodded and from then on we played to win. And we won, alhamdulillah.

So we won the third place in Ping pong, alhamdulillah. Which is a 'cure' of sort for our department since we also did not get pass the preliminary round in batu seremban.

I was so exhausted by the end of the tournament, I hit the sack almost immediately after we arrived back at the hostel. We spent two nights in Institut Latihan Perindustrian (ILP) Perlis, Kangar. When we first arrived, the dormitories were dirty, the shared toilets were dirty, the beds all bare and unmade - an obvious change from the cosy hotel rooms I'm getting quite used to when attending meetings/seminars. But hey, the accomodation provided was way better and cosier than the rubbles our friends in Palestine and Afghanistan are sleeping in, so there. I quickly said alhamdulillah, counting my blessing, simultaneously making doa for those freedom fighters in their beloved homeland and chiding myself for being 'kufur nikmat' for a while.

Saturday night, we attended a dinner hosted by Perlis State Secretariat. I was in the wrong place and the wrong time, so found myself seated at the main table, together with other VVIPs. So my diet went out the window for that one night as I was served nasi minyak Perlis style, laksa, kuey teow sup Siam style, Air Batu Campur, Teh Tarik and various local fruits (rambutan, dokong, mangosteen and durian). I took the opportunity to convey Mak's salam (which she had sent since I started joining the organisation many months ago) to TKPPA, as well as asking him to support Mak's NGO by buying Nasi Arab Amal coupons for Iftar Ramadhan program in Gaza. TKPPA asked me to call him when we're back in the office and I promised I would.

Sunday was spent jalan-jalan at a grape vineyard in Sungai Batu Pahat, followed by a visit to Taman Ular nearby. I had no camera with me, so had to satisfy myself by using my phone camera. Pictures will be uploaded later, insya Allah. And since we were already in Kangar, we did not miss the opportunity to go shopping in Padang Besar.

We left Padang Besar at about 3.15 p.m. and arrived at Putrajaya (after numerous stops along the highway) at about 12 midnight.

I arrived back home at about 12.20 p.m. and guess what greeted me upon my arrival?
The oh-missed-so-much sound of baby Haniyya's cry.
Almost as if he knew I was back and wanted to let me know that he missed me too.
Oh well...

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Note to civil-servant-who-likes-to-commit-AWOL

Dear Civil-Servant-who-likes-to-commit-AWOL,

I'm sure that by now your boss or your peers must had tried telling you to stop
coming late to the office; or
leaving the office early; or
missing in action in between punching the punch card in and out; or
all of the above

It's common knowledge that most absenteeism cases are committed by employees in the support group, so if you are in the management and professional group - it's worse because you should know better.

And you in the support group - who says that you have any right to come and go from the office as you please? The office does not belong to your father/grandfather/great grandfather, so please treat it with respect as the money which pay your monthly salary originates from the rakyat.

From 316 disciplinary cases recorded in the first quarter of 2009, absenteeism accounted for 179 cases. That's more than half of the cases recorded. And not all absenteeism cases are treated as disciplinary cases. Most cases are merely dealt with administratively, not subject to the procedures laid out in the Public Officers (Conduct and Discipline) Regulations 1993, so only Allah knows how many cases actually are out there.

So, back to you. Yes, you who treat absence without leave from work oh-so-lightly. Who are you kidding, really? Do you really believe that you are going to get away with it with no penalty whatsoever? General Order (Chapter C) allows your emolument to be deducted according to days you went absent without leave.

And you who loves punching your punch card in the morning, goes missing, and punch your card out in the evening - do you think that your emolument won't be deducted because there's proof that you were not absent from work? How about if your boss started making an hourly roll-call for you, or your Chief Clerk started making a log book to check your attendance every other hour? Hah, yes, there are methods to certify your presence in the office apart from just relying on the punch card after all...

And really, do you think you will get way from this that easily???
I mean, if you are a Muslim, and we do know that the largest composition in the civil service is made out of Muslim, then you will be questioned for your doings in the hereafter. It doesn't end here, in this world. You would be held responsible for your doings in the hereafter.

So - by being absent from work without leave, you are not being fair - not only to yourselves, but also to your family, your colleagues and those outside there who would be better officers than you had you not be in the position they could've filled otherwise.

By 'not being fair' , or in other words, being 'cruel' to yourself, I mean that you are going to be held liable for your wrongdoings, so surely purposely not going to work while you get paid for it is an offence. It's different if you want to work and there's no work allocated for you, but if there's work for you to do, and you simply skip doing it for no good reason, don't you think that's just plain wrong?

And the money that you get from not doing your job - yes, your salary. You take it back home, you feed your partner and children out of that 'dirty' money, do you think it would not affect them? Aren't you being 'cruel' to them by feeding them out of money made not through good, clean work, but rather dishonest mean? You did not work, you did not deserve being paid, so that money could not be really 'clean', can it?

And you burden your colleagues at work by not doing the tasks you were supposed to carry out. Somebody else have to do it in your place. Other people have to do what you were supposed to do and you think they would not be mad at you? You goes absent, and set bad examples to other honest, hardworking officers. Do you really think that you and your attitude will not have any effect whatsoever on your organization? Think again.

And had you not be in the position where you are now - someone else could have easily filled up your position and do a better job. But he or she could not do it because the place is not vacant. Your name is there. Your presence in the office pay roll means others could not be where you were supposed to be but you are not really there. So, yes, you are not being fair to others out there who could do a lot better job than you do.

So - if you really are not interested in your job - quit.
If you really want to be in the government service - please change for the better.
Otherwise, just stop being cruel to yourself, your family, your friends at work and others by quitting.
Remember your promise to serve the rakyat when you first joined the civil service?
(I mean, come on, everybody knows that at some point of time, you must had had promised to serve the rakyat by being a civil servant.)
Rather than continuing your AWOL thingy, you would be of better service to the rakyat by not being in the civil service.
Seriously.

Thank you.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Keeping the surface smooth - part 2

I'm not saying that I am good, and she's not.
She has her own strengths, and I really, really would like to believe that she's good at heart, only that, it had not been effectively communicated to others.

The reason that I have "no case" with (or against) her - is because I don't care much for what others want to say about me, so long as I know that I don't bother them. They want to gossip about me, so let it be. People do that - even 'friends' do that. If they really, really care for me and want me to change for the better, than they would let me know on which area I should and could improve. But if they want to say mindless things about me which might be untrue - then, that's their problem, not mine. I may have no power over what others want to do or say, but I do have power, almost total control, over my reactions towards them. So, I rarely let other people's words bother me (or at least, not too much)

To me, being in the same sector means we should try to work with each other well, to create a synergy, to help make things better for the good of all.
Which means that, rather than being 'unit-centric', we should all work for the greater good of the sector; looking at the 'big picture' in achieving the sector's mission and vision.
Which also means that as team player, we should try not to focus on what others are doing wrong, but try to focus on what we can do right to help them. And rather than worrying about us chipping in more compared to others, more concern should be placed on whether we are giving enough for the benefits of all.
In short - more emphasis on 'we' and 'us' rather than 'me' and 'I'.

So - how should I confer this to her, without making her lash back at me with "alah, they all pun dok ngumpat you jugak, you je tak tahu" kind of response?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Keeping the surface smooth

It wasn't until last week I learned about a lot of 'stories' going around the office that I'd missed.
  • A married guy (whose wife is either pregnant or in confinement after giving birth, depending from whom you hear this story...) who made his moves towards a young unsuspecting single girl, who now had asked for a transfer due to 'pressures' from left and right...
  • Top level management's interest in re-positioning our sector's Executive Officer as the division's Executive Officer...
  • An officer seemingly keen on creating disharmony among officers in the sector

So, what have all these has anything to do with me?

First - that 'young unsuspecting single girl' who was duped into believing that slick guy is my unit's clerk. Understandably, she's now under a lot of pressure - her mother had even asked her to quit. I personally believe that a transfer to her hometown would be a better option - she won't lose her job, her mother could worry less with them being in the same district and that sick guy would have some trouble troubling her with all the distance.

Second - while I'm the so-called 'sector's admin officer", our EO has been doing all the nitty gritty stuff and she's good at it. The sector need her around. At least for the time being, what with us having no Chief Clerk and all.

Third - other officers in the sector have asked me to 'talk to' this particular officer because it seems like I am the only one who has 'no case' (read: 'bengang') with her.

#####

So, how could one advise someone with a 'superiority complex'?

You ask "what is 'superiority complex'"? Well, overheard 'clues' are something along the line of:

  • "Oh, we got more stuff done than others. Other units do not have that much to do anyway"
  • "I don't know about others, but I know that my [insert cooking here] was a big hit during lunch yesterday. The Big Boss loved it!"
  • "My junior officers are the best speakers. They know more compared to others"
  • (To her junior officer during a retreat program ) "You don't have to man the laptop, it can be stressful. Let others man the lap top. Not you"
  • (To a junior officer from a different unit in the same retreat program) "You man the laptop. My officer had done enough."

And I won't start on 'putting one against another' incidents. Or 'talking behind one's back' - saying one thing in front of you, and another behind your back. I was told that when the junior officers compared notes among themselves, it really made some of them simply lost their respect for her as an officer more senior than them.

But this is not my war with her. I was told that she remarked to others that I only relaxed most of the time, very unlike her who found it difficult to relax even for a bit.

Well,

I might not appear busy, running there and here all the time;

I might not write memos for colleagues in the same sector (which got our colleague all riled up, asking "What the???.You might want to write memos to officers of different sectors - not in the same one!");

I might not report to the Big Boss or Bigger Boss often;

I don't mind others getting more invitation to give talk more often than I do;

But - I get my job done.

Just because I don't work in the same fashion that she does, it doesn't mean I have any lesser job than hers. Or work any lesser than her.

After all, when one have piles of thick files on their desk, it could only indicate whether they have a lot to do or do not know how to do their job well.

#####

You know how it is like when you used a pencil to write on a piece of paper, made a mistake and erased it, the surface of the paper is no longer smooth?

I would like to keep that harmony going on, to keep the surface smooth.

But I find it difficult to do so. Tak banyak, sikit, ada juga tercalar di hati.

I know - I'm so weak.

#####

Oh Allah - please forgive your servants who keep 'menzalimi' our own selves...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

It's tragical (Marwa Al-Sherbini - syahidat al-hijab)

She was called "terrorist", "Islamist" and "slut" by her 28 year old Russian-German neighbor in a public park as she was playing with her 3 year old son just because she donned the hijab.
She lodged a complaint against him.
He was fined Euro780 and appealed the fine.
She went to the court in Dresden, Germany to state her case.
She was stabbed 18 times in the courtroom in front of her 3 year old son.
A pharmacist, she was four month pregnant with her second child.
Stabbed
18 times
Witnessed by her 3 year old son
In a courtroom during a judicial session

When her husband sought to protect her from the xenophobic attacker, guess who got shot by the court security?
The husband, not the attacker.
The husband (who was in Germany on a research fellowship) was critically wounded as he was stabbed by the attacker and shot by court security.
("The guards thought that since he wasn't blond, he must be the attacker so they shot him," or so said the deceased's brother to an Egyptian television station.)

*****
When Theo van Gogh, a Dutch film director who had deliberately and contemptuously belittled Muslim culture, was killed by a Muslim in 2004, it was hugely dramatised in the European media.

Why the brutal stabbing of a pregnant woman, who was the victim of a religious slur, who had not done anything that could be construed as an act of provocation, has received so little publicity in the same media?

Because she's a Muslim?
Because she wore hijab?

Sad
Unbelievable

*****
Al-Fatihah for Marwa Al-Sherbini.
May Allah bless her and her family always
(My heart really goes out for her son. Huzaifah is not yet 4 and I can't imagine how traumatized a child his age would be to witness such horrifying scene)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Cabaran Tag

Was tagged by Anira since... so long ago that I've forgotten when it actually was.

Anyway, here goes...

Do you think you are hot?
Yes, at least to my hubby, hehehe...

Upload a favorite picture of you
Photobucket

Why do you like that picture?
I want to remain as cheerful as the girl in the picture seems to be ;-)

When was the last time you ate pizza?
Hmm, last month when we had this 'buy 1 and buy another for RM1' coupon.

The song you listen to?
Anything played on MuzikFM on the way to and fro office
(I prefer IKIM.FM but the car's radio being a Japan-spec, could only play channels which are up to 90.00Mhz, and IKIM is 91.6...)

What are you doing right now besides this?
Waiting for calls from other department, editing a paper prepared by subordinate, thinking about things to do tomorrow...

What other names do you prefer besides this?
(Besides A.Z.? or Azra? or Haida?)
Haizra Azida

Now I would like to tag new victims to do it
1. Zarin
2. Jaja
3. Hanis

Who is number 1?
One of the Labbies - the first batch of language lab assistants in our former school. We've been in touch with each other since leaving school back in 1992. Used to be my buddy to attend other friends' weddings (but he missed coming to my own wedding! He thought it was going to be held on Sunday, but it was held on Saturday, so there). Cool and fun to hang out with.

Say something about number 2
Sweet despite her 'ganas' appearance. Vulnerable despite her 'tough' look. Contradictory in so many ways, yet honest-to-goodness in her own way. One of a kind.

What about number 3?
A kouhai (junior) who's been mostly a silent reader, and now I'm her silent reader pulak. Ahah - baru aci, ye dak? Here's a light entry suggestion for her mostly-filled-with-heavy-entries blog.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Not stupid

Being illiterate does not necessarily mean one is stupid.
Being of lower academic qualification does not necessarily mean one is stupid.

Rasulullah s.a.w was an illiterate.
Yet, even before he started receiving revealed knowledge from Allah,
he was respected in his clan for his wisdom.
He was "ummi" - illiterate.
Yet, he was also "fatanah" - wise.

So wisdom and literacy does not always go hand in hand.
Having one does not necessarily means having the other as well.

But which should count more?

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

"No, you are not ugly"

It must be quite a feat for her - in her rather petite frame - to carry a 12 year old boy to the toilet because he 'oversoiled' his diaper.

But she does it anyway.

It must be quite a feat for her to patiently keep answering repetitious questions from her students. (I know it must be a feat because I find it difficult sometimes to keep my cool when Huzaifah keep repeating asking me question which I'd already answered, probably hoping I would change my "no" to a "yes")

But she keeps her cool with her students all the time.

She has assorted mix of students. Some look okay physically but have little IQ. Some are in fact little in stature. Some are confirmed ADHD, others are autistic. They are all special, each in their own way.

It really touched me when she told me that this year, for Eid, she's inviting a few select students - those left at the Welfare Center by their own parents - to spend the Eid with her as part of her family in the kampung.

One of those left at the Welfare Center is a daughter of a well-to-do couple. A "Datuk" and "Datin". Asked if they would come and visit her on Eid, she replied to her teacher that no, her parents never spend Eid with her. They would only send some new clothes for Eid but never take her back home to at least spend one special day with her siblings.

"They are ashamed of me, Cikgu. The rest of my siblings are normal. I am not. I am ugly"

"No, you are not ugly. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. This year, you will come and spend Eid with me and my family. You are going to be part of my family, ok? My children will be your adik-adik, ok?"

#####

"Yes, I admit, it's not easy to be a teacher for a "special education" class. But being their teacher has taught me lots of things too. And it's difficult not to fall in love with them. I love them all, despite having to deal with stuff teachers in normal schools don't usually deal with. Stuff that usually are reserved for mothers for their small toddlers - cleaning them up, putting their clothes on, feeding them. But they are unique. Truth is they are not "kurang upaya", only "beza upaya." If only we, the so-called 'normal' ones could learn to appreciate them more..."

I have lots of respect for dedicated teachers like Diana.
I wish that all 'special education' children would get the love and attention of at least one teacher like her...

Dush dush...

Conversation during lunch

aezack : My staff had a potluck breakfast this morning

esskay: So, what did you bring.

aezack: Didn't know that they were going to have a potluck breakfast, so did not prepare
anything. Otherwise I might ask bibik to prepare some chicken nuggets or something...

esskay: Oooh, I guess your staff knew that you would only bring chicken nuggets, that's why they didn't inform you earlier that they were going to have a potluck breakfast...

aezack: Oit! Oit! That hurts...

Friday, July 03, 2009

"Macam orang biasa je"

Funny how my subordinates - and even peers - reacted when they learned that Mak used to be in a rather senior position before her retirement in the civil service.

"Tapi puan macam orang biasa je..."

"Eh, memanglah saya orang biasa je. Takkan saya mutant pula, orang luar biasa.."

"Isy, taklah. Maksud saya, puan ni anak orang berada tapi macam biasa-biasa je"

#####

Sometimes I wonder what do people expect from the children of ex senior civil servants?
I know that another friend of mine who shares almost similar background with me kept being told that she's "macam orang biasa je" when others find out about her background.
We sometimes asked each other - what are other people's expectation of us?
I mean, okay, our parents used to be in senior position.
And yes, our parents used to make quite a lot compared to others in the civil service.
So?
What is there that make people almost always tell us that we are "macam orang biasa"?
Are we supposed to be unlike "orang biasa"?
Are we expected to be "luar biasa"?
In what way?
It's almost like there are expectation for us to be spoilt brats or the like.
Seriously.

#####

Trust me, there were moments that we wished we are actually "orang biasa-biasa"
The friend I mentioned had trouble persuading the guy she was interested in, that her family had no objection against her marrying him, whose family background is "biasa-biasa saja".
He insisted that only birds of the same feather should fly together.
She was broken hearted.
And remain unmarried until today.

Once a long time ago, I was interested in a guy who hailed from a rural area, who used to rubber-tap and he claimed that his house had no indoor toilet.
I told him that I had no trouble accepting him, his family, his rural way of life and all.
He insisted that I might.
"You've grown accustomed to living in a big house, having a maid, not getting your hands dirty doing nitty gritty stuff. There is no way you could adjust to living the way my family does"
It was really frustrating.
I wanted to give us a chance, but he gave me no real chance to prove myself to him.
All because he believed that I do not come from a "biasa-biasa saja" family background.

#####

It hurts - when one is told by the person she's interested in that they could not be together because she deserves 'someone better'.
It hurts even more - when what he meant by 'better' is only in financial terms.

#####

We have been raised by parents who do not look down upon others because they in turn, were raised by parents who had undergone lots of hardship.
We were made never to forget our roots.
We were made to realize that it's just Allah's rezeki for us and not our own doings that put us in the comfortable zone.
We were trained never to differentiate others because of one's wealth or status.
We were trained to accept others as who they are.
Sometimes it's quite frustrating when others do not accept us for who we are.
But rather, (mis)judge us for who our parents are.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

The other AHB

* Both my younger brother and I share the same initials - AHB (or AHBB), hence the title

When we were small, people used to ask us - "which one of you is older?".
It could be confusing to others since I call him "Abang" (elder brother) and he calls me "Kak" (elder sister).
That's how we are referred to in the family - I am Kak, he is Abang and our youngest brother, Adik.
Kak. Abang. Adik
(And that's why among the children of our maternal cousins, we're called respectively as Chik Kak, Paman Abang and Paman Adik)

He turned 33 yesterday, on July 1st.
Up until now, most of his friends and colleagues still thought that he is the real "Abang", as in he's the elder brother and I'm his younger sister.
Which could be flattering at times, yet also embarrassing.
Flattering because it might be a sign that I look younger than my age (ehcheh!)
Embarrassing because it might be a sign that I'm not as mature as my own younger brother.
But, never mind.
I'm ok with people mistaken me as the younger sister.
Hihihi.

He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.

Once we swapped clothes.
(Back when we were innocent children who knew nothing about the hadith that forbid us from wearing clothes meant for and imitating opposite gender)
I wore his boy scout uniform
He wore my school uniform, complete with the tudung.
We looked at ourselves in the mirror.
"Hey, I look more handsome than you"
"Hey, I look sweeter than you. See, I have dimples."
Oh well, I don't have dimples.
He won, I guess.
(But seriously, I was more handsome than him in boy scout uniform)
Hehehe.

He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.

We talked about the latest Transformers film.
He already watched it on the opening day, 24th June with his pregnant wife.
When we were small, we used to save our pocket money so that we could buy our own "toys".
(Back in the days when kids watched "cartoons" and not "animated series", and no one understand what "action figure" stands for.)
We were each given 60 sen a day as pocket money - back then, 60 sen was enough to buy a glass of cordial drink (syrup or orange) and a plate of nasi lemak/mee goreng in the school canteen.
We were nuts about Transformers - and challenged each other to save more so that we could buy better 'Transformers toy' than the other.
Being quite tomboyish, I was a big fan of Transformers and M.A.S.K. (Mobile Action Strike Kommand?) and later X-Men.
I remember having this dream of owning the biggest and most complicated 'Transformers toy' so that Abang could no longer beat me in that department.
It took weeks to buy a single toy (the cheapest Transformers action figure cost about RM20 back then, and the most we could save up each week is RM3), so the 'competition' was really tough.
And now, there is no single trace of all those toys we bought back then.
Unless one counts my brother being a producer of animation series as a trace left by his fascination with all those cartoons he watched as a child
Hahaha.

He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.

#####

Happy Birthday my dear brother.
May Allah bless always.
Love you lots (even though I seldom say it in person)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Oopss...

He met me after class, in a discreet corner, away from other participants. After all, he himself was not a participant, but rather an observer.

"Puan, yang saya belajar, kalau ada turun gaji, macam ini simulasinya..."
He went on to explain what he'd learned, which was different from what I understood.

"Oh, but what I shared in the class is what I was taught by, hmm, I can't remember who. But that was what I remember. Anyway, I'll check on it. Thank you"

This morning I check it out with two persons - my desk officer and a more senior officer.

He was right.
I made a mistake.
In front of more than 30 headmasters/headmistresses.
Oopss...

Called the organizer.
Explained that I wanted to apologize for making a mistake.
And I explained the real method for him.
He double checked it by citing an example.
I confirmed it.

"Terima kasih puan telefon. Pagi ini bila penceramah lain bercerita macam lain, dah ramai yang keliru. Puan telefon dan jelaskan ini, maknanya samalah dengan apa yang penceramah pagi ini cakap"

Ouch!


* Note to self - next time, stick to the topic given to be on the safe side, and if I want to venture out of the topic a bit, make sure that I'm really well-versed in it. Like - really, really sure.

*More note to self - it's good to have junior officer who cares enough to double check on stuff because the one in a more senior position is not always right. The service could do with having more officers like Norwin.

*One more note to self - if one made a mistake, don't be afraid to admit it and apologize. It might help make things easier for others even without one realizing it.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Tatkala berjauhan*

(* dengan apologi untuk Kak Lela sebab tiru tajuk mula dengan 'tatkala')

We were 24.
She was pregnant with her first child.
Her husband had to go else where for an assignment.
That morning, her eyes were puffy.
From crying too much

"But he would only be gone for how long? 2? 3 nights?"

"Yes, but you don't understand.
I want him to be my side.
I need him to be my side"

"But you've been on your own for over 23 years without him by your side..."

"You don't understand. Only when you're married, you would understand..."

#####

Fast forward 6 years later.
I was pregnant and hubby was not beside me most of the time.
I don't remember having puffy eyes from too much crying because I missed hubby so much.
And it was not an easy pregnancy, what with me being consistently nauseous until the very morning I gave birth.

Then, 11 days after I gave birth, I left Huzaifah with Mak and Ayah.
Hubby was still attending his KPLI course in Terengganu.
I went to Tokyo alone.
Hubby and Huzaifah only joined me 6 months later.
Still, I don't remember having puffy eyes from too much crying because I missed hubby so much.
In fact I remember thinking that I missed my baby more than my hubby.

So what my friend said to me - about understanding her crying until she got puffy eyes because she missed her husband who was away from home for 2-3 nights - eluded me.

#####

Last week, hubby went to Melaka on Saturday, and returned on Sunday evening.
Sunday evening, I took the kids and bibik to P.D. not long after hubby reached home.
But I made it a point to wait for hubby before leaving because I thought he would only get to see us after he's back from Kedah on Thursday.
Monday morning, hubby went to Kedah to join one "panel hakim yang arif lagi bijaksana" in a Majlis Tilawah Al-Quran for "special education" students.
Monday night we returned from P.D.

Tuesday morning, as I entered the office, one EO asked me, "Nanti Puan pergi Melaka ye Khamis ni?"
"Hah?"
I said no, I didn't know anything about going to Melaka, and usually my EO advised me beforehand about my outstation assignments.

Turned out that during my absence on Monday,
it was decided by upper management for me to give a talk on Thursday in Melaka.
Followed by attending a retreat held in the same hotel until Saturday.
Which means, hubby won't be seeing us on Thursday after all.
We will only see each other on Saturday, insya Allah

#####

No, I still don't feel like crying until my eyes went puffy.
I guess I might not be able to understand what my friend felt 10 years ago after all.
Funny thing is, when ever hubby and I are apart like we are now,
I tend to remember the lyrics from one Westlife song...

Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till you're drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes

And I know that I've learned the meaning of "sendiri tapi tak sunyi"

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